> Shrouded in darkness;

~~Tuesday, March 30, 2010~~

8:35 PM

Once again left the rider
With no clue where to do
Helpless and frustrated
He began to wander in woe

He wandered here and where
Without a place to go
Nights fell and days damned
Onwards he just rode
The trees dropped their leaves
Soon the first snow would fall
A lonely rider was sleeping
Beside the ancient stonewall

"Behing the wall is a realm no man dares to go
There thou find the answers... or not...
Wise and old is the keeper of the stone
The stone sees days - passed and to come"

The rider heard the voice
Whispering these words
Where it came or who it was
A delusion he had heard?
Snowflakes drew a picture
Right on his eyes
A line of hills behind forest
Where dusk colours the sky

"Behing the wall is a realm no man dares to go
There thou find the answers... or not...
Wise and old is the keeper of the stone
The stone sees days - passed and to come"

When the sun appeared over the woods on the horizon
The rider sat thinking was it a dream or real
In a moment he mounted the horse, began to search
For a gate to enter the unknown realm

Will you ever notice me...

8:32 PM

I’ve been burning my bridges
For too many years,
Drowning the sorrow
Of too many tears
Women and whiskey
Are my only friends,
One gives me strength,
One just pretends

I’ve been waiting my whole life
For things to work out right,
But, those lonely days turn into lonely nights
Yes, it do

I’ve heard all the wisdom
Of prophets and seers,
It don’t soothe my passion
And it don’t ease my fears
Burned by love
And blinded by snow,
Bad luck and trouble
Are with me wherever I go

I’ve been waiting my whole life
For things to work out right,
But those lonely days turn into lonely nights
Lonely days, lonely nights,
Lonely days, lonely nights

Lonely days, lonely nights,
Someday babe, it’s gonna be alright
Lonely days, lonely nights,
Someday babe, it’s gonna be alright for me, for me

Lonely days, lonely nights,
Someday babe, it’s gonna be alright...

Will you ever notice me...

~~Wednesday, March 24, 2010~~

8:54 PM

Will you ever notice me...

~~Tuesday, March 23, 2010~~

8:27 PM

An ocean of devotion,
A tizzy of dizzy
A potion of lotion
In a sea of ecstasy

A Chasm of orgasm
A surfeit of stimulation
A quiver of shivers
An ovation of titillation

A night of delight
A clutch of a touch
A wonderful sight
A touch too much

A piece of striptease
An asp full of hiss
A squeeze of knees
An abyss of bliss,

A feeling of reeling
A measure of treasure
A pealing of feeling
A treasure of pleasure

A collection of affection
A crest of a breast
A perfection of direction
A quest of the best

a rain of pain
A ringlet of regrets
A refrain in the brain
A collage of coquettes

A bind in the mind
A clasp of a grasp
A slip of a lip
A growl of a gasp

A pleasing of teasing
An illusion of alarm
A cart load of heart
A strong arm of charm

Will you ever notice me...

8:12 PM

Find your faith in your security
All broken up at seventeen
Jam your brain with broken heroes
Love your masks and adore your failure

We’re a mess of eyeliner and spraypaint
D.i.y. destruction on chanel chic
Deny your culture of consumption
This is a culture of destruction

Don’t wanna see your face
Don’t wannt hear your words
Why don’t you just

Babes on the run with poisoned lips
Wrap your arms round this everlasting kiss
Clinging to your own sense of waste
All we love is lonely wreckage

Your school your dole and your chequebook dreams
Your clothes your suits and your pension schemes
Now you say you know how we feel
But don’t fall in love cos we hate you still

Don’t wanna see your face
Don’t wannt hear your words
Why don’t you just

Destroyed by madness
Destroyed by madness
Destroyed by madness
Destroyed by madness
Anxiety is freedom

Will you ever notice me...

8:11 PM

Natural voices into quietude,

The busses rushing home into crepuscule,

The bullies waiting for me with dumb bats,

And vampires floating like kindergarteners f*cking

In the air:

Kids get drunk to look like they’re in charge,

Lions yawn and then fornicate inside the electric fence.

I suppose that once Sharon thought to love me,

While she was coming up for air,

But when she finally tasted the rind of this green

Amusement,

Maybe she had another taste in her mouth,

Like another man’s child in her womb.

Controlled by giant robots disturbed out of sleep

And busting up the sky,

We let the comets in through the sun-lights in the Florida

Room to floating like presumptuous butterflies around

The plastic fire-trucks:

I told Erin I was celibate this entire time,

While Tesla operated on his sweet experiments above tree

Line;

But I am not anymore, and her eyes won’t look at me

Through the keyholes of little bears,

And Tesla has found away to conduct electricity through the

Tuffs of snow.

And Mickey Mouse is a dear old gentleman we all congratulated

Once he decided to self publish.

Will you ever notice me...

8:10 PM

You call me an angel of love and of light,
A being of goodness and heavenly fire,
Sent out from God’s kingdom to guide you aright,
In paths where your spirits may mount and aspire.
You say that I glow like a star on its course,
Like a ray from the alter, a spark from the source.

Now list to my answer; let all the world hear it;
I speak unafraid what I know to be true:
A pure, faithful love is the creative spirit
Which makes women angels! I live in but you.
We are bound soul to soul by life’s holiest laws;
If I am an angel – why, you are the cause.

As my ship skims the sea, I look up from the deck.
Fair, firm at the wheel shines Love’s beautiful form,
And shall I curse the barque that last night went to wreck,
By the Pilot abandoned to darkness and storm?
My craft is no stauncher, she too had been lost –
Had the wheelman deserted, or slept at his post.

I laid down the wealth of my soul at your feet
(Some woman does this for some man every day) .
No desperate creature who walks in the street,
Has a wickeder heart that I might have, I say,
Had you wantonly misused the treasures you woon,
-As so many men with heart riches have done.

This flame from God’s altar, this holy love flame,
That burns like sweet incense for ever for you,
Might now be a wild conflagration of shame,
Had you tortured my heart, or been base or untrue.
For angels and devils are cast in one mould,
Till love guides them upward, or downward, I hold.

I tell you the women who make fervent wives
And sweet tender mothers, had Fate been less fair,
Are the women who might have abandoned their lives
To the madness that springs from and ends in despair.
As the fire on the hearth which sheds brightness around,
Neglected, may level the walls to the ground.

The world makes grave errors in judging these things,
Great good and great evil are born in one breast.
Love horns us and hoofs us – or gives us our wings,
And the best could be worst, as the worst could be best.
You must thank your own worth for what I grew to be,
For the demon lurked under the angel in me.

Will you ever notice me...

8:09 PM

FOR certain minutes at the least

That crafty demon and that loud beast

That plague me day and night

Ran out of my sight;

Though I had long perned in the gyre,

Between my hatred and desire.

I saw my freedom won

And all laugh in the sun.

The glittering eyes in a death's head

Of old Luke Wadding's portrait said

Welcome, and the Ormondes all

Nodded upon the wall,

And even Strafford smiled as though

It made him happier to know

I understood his plan.

Now that the loud beast ran

There was no portrait in the Gallery

But beckoned to sweet company,

For all men's thoughts grew clear

Being dear as mine are dear.

But soon a tear-drop started up,

For aimless joy had made me stop

Beside the little lake

To watch a white gull take

A bit of bread thrown up into the air;

Now gyring down and perning there

He splashed where an absurd

Portly green-pated bird

Shook off the water from his back;

Being no more demoniac

A stupid happy creature

Could rouse my whole nature.

Yet I am certain as can be

That every natural victory

Belongs to beast or demon,

That never yet had freeman

Right mastery of natural things,

And that mere growing old, that brings

Chilled blood, this sweetness brought;

Yet have no dearer thought

Than that I may find out a way

To make it linger half a day.

O what a sweetness strayed

Through barren The baud,

Or by the Martica sea

When that exultant Anthony

And twice a thousand more

Starved upon the shore

And withered to a bag of bones!

What had the Caesars but their thrones?

Will you ever notice me...

~~Thursday, March 11, 2010~~

7:22 PM

I stood on high wall of river bank
Pain rushed to mind and I sank
It was just matter of seconds for life to end
High melody drama with current trend

Some one shouted from back” hi, don’t do”
Life may be hell but still you are not through
It may take you o where I you really run away
This is not the solution to find the way

I think it was inner voice that was awakening soul
I too felt it was too early to smell a foul
Why not face it bravely and stand the test?
Why not sincerely attempt at to extract the best?

Was it not cowardice act to shy away from reality?
Was there no other option than to have continuity?
Life is name of constant struggle and to live with
Show must go till we have enough strength and last breath

I had swallowed bitter pills in the form of insult
People approached me for cutting joke and not to consult
They had all weapons in their armory to cause me worry
I had decided for extreme steps instead of feeling sorry

It was on going struggle in mind that forced me to retreat
I had no strength or courage to face them and treat
It was altogether a combined attack on my survival
I did not get enough time to search for any revival

Human beings are gifted with strong will power
It is in built and in distress exercised by fewer
What else is seen in this peculiar conscience call?
It is definitely blessings in disguise from future fall

To act in haste with reaction is totally unwelcome
Let any untoward things take shape or come
It is your common sense that prevents you fro, going extreme
Is it not the mysterious call from almighty the Supreme?

I thought for a while and decided to withdraw
It was complete turn about from failure show
It not only infused me with great strength and courage
I decided to give go bye to helplessness and manage

It is playing hide and seek game with our fate
We don’t wake up to realities and act very late
Life doesn’t stop and flows at any rate
We must behave sensibly without waiting at the gate

To end the life is by no means any solution
To get up and face it will be complete revolution
It may bring so many unexpected changes
As life hangs in balance between high and low ranges

Will you ever notice me...

7:21 PM

It was Saturday and raining,
I was feeling sad
So sick of your complaining,
How you make me feel bad,

I guess you've forgotten
That there was you and me,
I guess there's nothing left,
Except for one thing you should see,

Do you remember?
Do you recall?
Something not so different,
Not different at all,

But as, you see we grow apart,
It seems you're tearing out my heart,
Why can't you stop this childish game?
When you don't really feel the same,

You really remember?
You really recall?
It wasn't so different,
It wasn't so different,

At all...

Will you ever notice me...

7:15 PM

I'm sure, i'm sure
you cant get over, get over this
the fire's burning in your eyes
i'm only keeping you alive

if i promise you
promise to never let go
would you come back to my room?
would you show me what to do?
i could still save you

u can be superman
and save me, save me
you're falling way too fast to save

i swear, i swear
you'll let me down (let me down)
but every second you're around
you pick me right up off the ground

if i promise you
promise to never let go
would you come back to my room?
would you show me what to do?
i could still save you

u can be superman
and save me, save me
you're falling way too fast to save

no one could help you now
and make it out, make it out
you're falling way too fast to save

i'm sure, i'm sure
you cant get over, get over this
but in my eyes i'm keeping you alive

u can be superman
and save me, save me
you're falling way too fast to save

no one could help you now
and make it out, make it out
you're falling way too fast to save

you're falling way too fast to save

Will you ever notice me...

6:47 PM

It's no big deal
I wanted you but you don't feel the same
I'm over you
I'll tell myself til I forget your name
That I'm the best that you'll never have
It's a chain
That I can't face that
I guess you're no heart breaker
Give it up
You're never gonne give me
Stop pretending
I tell myself
We're looking in the mirror
They say and walk away
'Cause you're no heart breaker
No matter what they say
Call you four times
But he was busy leaving me behind
So obvious
That he's got plans with someone else tonight
And it just huts all over again
That he was never mine
I guess your no heart breaker
Give it up you're never gonna get him
Stop pretending
I tell myself we're looking in the mirror
They say and walk away
'Cause you're no heart breaker
No matter what they
The truth is I
Will never be the same
And all this time
I thought that she would change
The memory remains
And I just feel so hollow
So hollow
I guess you're no heart breaker
Give it up
So give it up!
You're no heart breaker
Give it up you're never gonna get her
Stop pretending
I tell myself we're looking in the mirror
They say and walk away
You're no heart breaker
No matter what they say
No heart breaker
Stop pretending
I tell myself we're looking in the mirror
They say and walk away
You're no heart breaker
No matter what they say
You're no heart breaker

Will you ever notice me...

~~Thursday, March 4, 2010~~

9:32 PM

Not too young, not too old

With nick carter

Aaron

I’m not too young and I’m not too old

Listen up everybody

This ain’t aaron’s party

Part two, I’m older now

Come and show me body

Girl whatcha gonna do

Come and talk to me in the backseat baby backstreet

We could surf the board suft the net

Better yet we could make a little bet if we get together yo

It’s gonna be the bomb

Hit me all baby aaron carter dot com.

See when it comes to girls I’m not too young

Baby face back up on the seat, but when I get in trouble

Hey, I’m not too old I put my cap way down and say I’m seven-years old

That’s how we roll

Nick

Throw your hands up now

Let the music take control this is how we roll

Aaron

I’m not too young and I’m not too old

Here we go...

Nick

Throw your hands up now let the music take control this is how we roll

Aaron

I’m not too young and I’m not too old

It’s the a to the a to the ron

I’m all grown up now

Run and tell your friends

It’s all sewn up now where do I begin?

Don’t even playa hate tryin to say I look 10

Imma tell you again

I’m all up in the video catch me at the studio that’s my life bro

It’s in my blood hey

It ain’t my fault you wanna step to me we could take it to the ashphalt

Shoot some hoops kid slam dunk the funk

Battle on the rollerblades

You callin me a punk

Bring on the skateboards or the bmx

Show me whay you got is that all?

Please next I’ll wipe the floor with you

Where’s the concentration

Don’t even talk about the sony playstation

I’ll make it happen if it seems that you’ve won

Aaron carter got you open don’t front don’t front let’s roll

Nick

Throw your hands up now let the music take control this is how we roll

Aaron

I’m not too young and I’m not too old

Here we go ...

Nick

Throw your hands up now

Let the music take control this is how we roll

Aaron

Im not too young and I’m not too old

Nick

He’s steppin out with the older boys

Cover up your ears cause we makin that noise

He’s steppin out with the younger girls

Cover up your eyes cause we rock the world

He steppin out with out with the older boys

Cover up your ears cause we makin that noise

He’s steppin out with the younger girls

Cover up your eyes cause we rock the world.

Aaron

See when it comes to takin all the girls for a crusinin my ride all I need is

Hello hello (hello)

Im not too young too young

My cellular rung

Switch it off yo

Hit me on the pager

A real teenager with a fake beard battin in the majors

Thats how we roll and when it suits me

Im anywhere between 12 and 18 years old.

Here we go...

Nick

Throw your hands up now let the music take control

This is how we roll

Aaron

Im not too young and I’m not too old

Here we go...

Nick

Throw your hands up now let the music take control

This is how we roll

Aaron

Im not too young and I’m not too old

Here we go...

Nick

Throw your hands up now let the music take control

This is how we roll

Aaron

Im not to young and I’m not too old

Here we go...

Nick

Throw your hands up now let the music take control

This is how we roll

Aaron

Im not too young and I’m not too old

Will you ever notice me...

9:29 PM

Remind me not, remind me not,
Of those beloved, those vanish'd hours,
When all my soul was given to thee;
Hours that may never be forgot,
Till Time unnerves our vital powers,
And thou and I shall cease to be.

Can I forget---canst thou forget,
When playing with thy golden hair,
How quick thy fluttering heart did move?
Oh! by my soul, I see thee yet,
With eyes so languid, breast so fair,
And lips, though silent, breathing love.

When thus reclining on my breast,
Those eyes threw back a glance so sweet,
As half reproach'd yet rais'd desire,
And still we near and nearer prest,
And still our glowing lips would meet,
As if in kissed to expire.

And then those pensive eyes would close,
And bid their lids each other seek,
Veiling the azure orbs below;
While their long lashes' darken'd gloss
Seem'd stealing o'er thy brilliant cheek,
Like raven's plumage smooth'd on snow.

I dreamt last night our love return'd,
And, sooth to say, that very dream
Was sweeter in its phantasy,
Than if for other hearts I burn'd,
For eyes that ne'er like thine could beam
In Rapture's wild reality.

Then tell me not, remind me not,
Of hours which, though for ever gone,
Can still a pleasing dream restore,
Till Thou and I shall be forgot,
And senseless, as the mouldering stone
Which tells that we shall be no more.

Will you ever notice me...

9:25 PM

In this evil year, autumn comes early...
I walk by night in the field, alone, the rain clatters,
The wind on my hat...And you? And you, my friend?

You are standing--maybe--and seeing the sickle moon
Move in a small arc over the forests
And bivouac fire, red in the black valley.
You are lying--maybe--in a straw field and sleeping
And dew falls cold on your forehead and battle jacket.

It's possible tonight you're on horseback,
The farthest outpost, peering along, with a gun in your fist,
Smiling, whispering, to your exhausted horse.
Maybe--I keep imagining--you are spending the night
As a guest in a strange castle with a park
And writing a letter by candlelight, and tapping
On the piano keys by the window,
Groping for a sound...

--And maybe
You are already silent, already dead, and the day
Will shine no longer into your beloved
Serious eyes, and your beloved brown hand hangs wilted,
And your white forehead split open--Oh, if only,
If only, just once, that last day, I had shown you, told you
Something of my love, that was too timid to speak!

But you know me, you know...and, smiling, you nod
Tonight in front of your strange castle,
And you nod to your horse in the drenched forest,
And you nod to your sleep to your harsh clutter of straw,
And think about me, and smile.
And maybe,
Maybe some day you will come back from the war,
and take a walk with me some evening,
And somebody will talk about Longways, Glutting, Hammerlock,
And smile gravely, and everything will be as before,
And no one will speak a word of his worry,
Of his worry and tenderness by night in the field,
Of his love. And with a single joke
You will frighten away the worry, the war, the uneasy nights,
The summer lightning of shy human friendship,
Into the cool past that will never come back.

Will you ever notice me...

9:24 PM

If I could make a wish I think I’d pass
Can’t think of anything I need
No cigarettes no sleep no light no sound
Nothing to eat no books to read
Making love with you has left me peaceful warm inside
What more could I ask
There’s nothing left to be desired

Sometimes all I need is the air that I breathe and to love you
All I need is the air that I breathe yes to love you
Just to have you now
All I need is the air that I breathe you’re all I want

Peace came upon me and it breathes in me
Don’t sleep silent angel don’t you sleep

Sometimes all I need is the air that I breathe and to love you just to have you now
All I need is the air that I breathe yes to love you
All I need is the air that I breathe you’re all I want

Sometimes all I need is the air that I breathe and to love you
All I need is the air that I breathe yes to love you
All I need is the air that I breathe

Sometimes all I need is the air that I breathe and to love you
All I need is the air that I breathe yes to love you
All I need is the air that I breathe

Will you ever notice me...

9:23 PM

Kick it where it hurts and you kick it hard
What does the future hold for me? Pain!
In the world outside everything's the same
When you look in the mirror what do you see? Shame!
You play with yourself then you cry when you start to bleed
You put over numbers you pretend that you don't need
It's hard for you to give when all you do is you take and you take
I'll give you something
A flower at your fucking wake

Born to breathe
Not much else
You'll die of nothing
Like everybody else
Born to breathe
Nothing is what I am
No-one to save me
From myself
I can't see
Blind is what I am
Swimming for the womb
Like everybody else

What's yours is yours and what's mine is also yours
'Cause you had to wait, I'd be crawling on all fours
I give you the finger but you want the whole hand
The hand that slaps you and makes you understand

Born to be here
Nothing is what I am
No-one to save me
From myself

I can't see
Blind is what I am
Swimming for the womb
Like everybody else

Will you ever notice me...

9:21 PM

Breathe your life...

I’ve got to come down
I’ve been awake for far too long
My eyes look torn, they were so strong
I wore the crown, I wrote the song
Now it’s fading
My heart was open
Like a window to a summer breeze

I breathed your love,
I filled my lungs and veins
And I breathed your love
Until I felt the pain
And like rain it slipped away

I tried to find out
What love was really all about
Behind the curtain waits the sky
It’s rare I feel enough to cry
I’m drying up inside
My life was open
Like a window to the summer breeze

I breathed your love,
I filled my lungs and veins
And I breathed your love
Until I met the pain and like rain
It slipped away, just like a little rain.

I breathed your love
And nothing stayed the same.
Yes, I breathed your love
And filled my heart in vain cos like rain
It slipped away, just like rain it swept away.

Will you ever notice me...

9:20 PM

I wanted you to know

I still think about you

There are times during my day

when time momentarily

stops

And in these brief pauses

these gaps in reality

I think of you

Maybe a memory

of a shared laugh

or a colorful conversation

I loved those

Maybe just a thought

wondering how you are

if your happy

Do you ever think of me?

Maybe a wish for you

to find your happiness

to always be the beautiful

person that you are

I wish you love

Then its over

and life resumes

But after each pause

each gap spent

thinking of you

I have to

Remember to breathe

Will you ever notice me...